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Our children are processing the meaning behind
terrorist threats, weapons of mass destruction
and the implications of going to war. This is
a time when we must draw on our connection with
spirit as never before and find ways to help
our children find their center when they are
rocked with fear and questions. The following
are ideas to support your sons and daughters in
a time of war:
Knowledge
can be power. Help your children confront
scary incidents by equipping them with knowledge
of the positive actions being taken. Assure
them that the department of Homeland Security
in Washington, D.C., for instance, is working
around the clock to keep Americans safe. Assure
your children that you will do everything you
can to keep them safe as well -- walk them
to the bus stop, talk to their school about
safety policies, and lock the doors of your
home.
Use
television with caution. Be aware of the
images you are beaming onto your young child's
consciousness. If you want news, turn on the
radio; it's less intrusive. Listen to broadcasts
with your children so you know what information
they are hearing as well as answer questions
that may arise.
Talk,
listen, talk and listen some more. Don't
assume that your five-year-old is oblivious
to world events or your cynical teen won't
talk to you. I'm hearing from parents across
the country whose children of all ages are
experiencing anxiety since hearing news about
the possible war with Iraq and weapons of mass
destruction. Make yourself available to listen
to your kids -- turn off the music in the car,
take a walk after dinner, sit on the edge of
their beds for an extra five minutes at night.
Take
action. The key to supporting your child's
spirit is to replace images of disaster and
fear with activities of hope. Come up with
ways you might reach out together. Your son
or daughter might be inspired to send an email
of thanks to U.S. troops or hang an American
flag. If your teens are old enough to give
blood, now might be a great time to schedule
an appointment with your local Red Cross. Go
to Redcross.org or call 800-GIVE-LIFE. Brainstorm
other ideas for your family to help victims,
make a difference in the world, and foster
hope.
Teach
Tolerance and Conflict Resolution However
we feel about Sadam Hussein, our children should
know that their Iraqi or Muslim classmates
are not bad people. This is a good opportunity
to debunk stereotyping. Reinforce the importance
of using words to resolve conflicts. However
you feel about the bombings, we should help
children understand that, usually, violence
is not a constructive option.
Supply
nightly good news nuggets. Make sure to
end the day with positive information. Generate
an ongoing list of "Amazing Things in Our World." Start
the list by noting your child's most cherished
friends, then vamp on the theme by including
awesome facts about our world, such as in a
single season, a large elm tree makes about
six million leaves and no matter how rough
the ocean's surface appears, if you could look
down into deep water you would find it calm
and undisturbed by the troubles overhead.
Find
your own source of comfort. We can't shield
our kids from the chaos, confusion, or conflict
in the world. We can, however, give our children
the gift of a parent who finds serenity within
the sorrow, who remains grounded when the ground
seems to quake beneath us. Our children learn
how to handle hardships by observing us.
Special
considerations for children of the military Children
will have understandable fears for the safety
of parents sent overseas. Parents and relatives
at home can help by letting children honestly
express feelings and concerns. Frequent telephone
calls, letters and/or email are essential in
helping children feel connected to, and loved
by, absent parents.
Rely
on Your Faith Take time each night to
pray as a family. Pray
for our troops and ultimately for peace and
stability in Iraq. Pray
also for the children and families in Iraq. Go
to mass or to Stations of the Cross together
and use this worship time to focus your prayers
on the peaceful resolution of the war.
(These tips originate from www.familyeducation.com, www.parentsoup.com and
from Catholic Youth Ministries.)
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