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Getting
involved with your teenager's life can generate
acts of resistance. But
that resistance often carries a hidden message-a
need or plea for love. Use
the following suggestions adapted from Courageous
Parenting (NavPress) by David Hutchins, to
help you understand the truth behind your teenager's
defenses.
Teenagers
are listening.
Your
kids may look like they're not listening to
you, but they can't totally block out everything
you're saying.
Teenagers
need love.
Even
when it seems as though your kids have on their
full emotional armor, there's usually a crack
that will allow you to reach them. Keep
trying!
Teenagers
respond to respect.
Forcing
an issue can devalue teenagers' decisions;
learn to respect resistance to your involvement,
even when you want otherwise.
Teenagers
don't respond well to anger.
Express
disappointment when your kids resist involvement-anger
or despair can cause stronger resistance.
Teenagers
expect you to give up. Don't retreat-be persistent
in asking for involvement in their lives.
Teenagers
learn resistance
Be
sure your kids' reluctance and discomfort isn't
a reflection of your own relational style. |
